1 00:00:01,574 --> 00:00:03,638 I sure hope Mom and dad are surprised 2 00:00:03,639 --> 00:00:06,575 by this anniversary breakfast we're bringing them! 3 00:00:06,577 --> 00:00:08,667 I hate to walk in if they are naked. 4 00:00:08,668 --> 00:00:10,894 Yes, that kind of image could haunt someone 5 00:00:10,895 --> 00:00:13,822 if she tries to sleep even years later. 6 00:00:13,823 --> 00:00:15,955 Oh, relax. I think you're safe. 7 00:00:15,956 --> 00:00:17,159 Or are they? 8 00:00:19,561 --> 00:00:20,178 So today at the school fair, 9 00:00:20,179 --> 00:00:21,493 a band called the Dad Beats 10 00:00:21,494 --> 00:00:23,889 is gonna surprise Claire with a power love ballad. 11 00:00:24,057 --> 00:00:27,180 And the lead singer... you might want to sit down... 12 00:00:27,238 --> 00:00:28,404 is the one and only... 13 00:00:28,405 --> 00:00:31,019 get up on your feet!... this guy! 14 00:00:32,316 --> 00:00:34,396 ♪ She's a pretty sight ♪ 15 00:00:34,397 --> 00:00:36,916 ♪ Wise as a buddha ♪ 16 00:00:36,917 --> 00:00:38,784 ♪ But, brother, watch that bite ♪ 17 00:00:38,785 --> 00:00:41,385 ♪ 'cause she's a Claire-Acuda ♪ 18 00:00:42,273 --> 00:00:44,176 Or maybe an existing song. 19 00:00:44,792 --> 00:00:45,963 Thank you. 20 00:00:45,964 --> 00:00:56,824 - synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com - 21 00:00:59,587 --> 00:01:00,547 Do you want to get your face painted 22 00:01:00,548 --> 00:01:01,717 like a pretty butterfly? 23 00:01:01,718 --> 00:01:03,442 No. I'm just not in the mood. 24 00:01:04,001 --> 00:01:05,216 Lily, what about you? 25 00:01:05,796 --> 00:01:06,110 You know what? 26 00:01:06,111 --> 00:01:07,177 Maybe I will have them paint 27 00:01:07,178 --> 00:01:09,007 "Worst coach ever" on my forehead. 28 00:01:09,187 --> 00:01:10,977 Cam's coaching freshman football, 29 00:01:10,978 --> 00:01:12,581 and his team's losing, 30 00:01:12,582 --> 00:01:15,557 and it's making him, uh, a little tense. 31 00:01:15,759 --> 00:01:16,713 Run, run! 32 00:01:16,714 --> 00:01:18,339 Protect it like it's your baby! 33 00:01:18,340 --> 00:01:20,828 You dropped your baby! You dropped your baby! 34 00:01:20,829 --> 00:01:22,034 They're running away with your baby! 35 00:01:22,035 --> 00:01:23,119 Go get your baby! 36 00:01:23,560 --> 00:01:24,319 That's the worst call 37 00:01:24,320 --> 00:01:27,595 since they cast Russell Crowe in "Les Mis," right there! 38 00:01:28,057 --> 00:01:29,741 You see the way everyone's glaring at me? 39 00:01:29,742 --> 00:01:32,011 - No. - Like a big loser coach. 40 00:01:32,012 --> 00:01:32,900 All in your head. 41 00:01:32,901 --> 00:01:33,928 I'm the Hester Prynne of freshman football. 42 00:01:33,929 --> 00:01:36,052 I may as well have a scarlet "L" sewn on my shirt. 43 00:01:36,053 --> 00:01:37,575 Well, then, everyone would think you're Laverne. 44 00:01:37,576 --> 00:01:39,724 Coach Tucker. 45 00:01:39,831 --> 00:01:41,519 That was a tough loss last night. 46 00:01:41,836 --> 00:01:42,912 Yeah, yeah. Sure was. 47 00:01:42,913 --> 00:01:44,585 I feel your frustration. Sure do. 48 00:01:44,586 --> 00:01:46,923 Uh, Mitchell, this is John. He's Trevor's dad. 49 00:01:46,924 --> 00:01:48,383 - Sorry. - Star running back. 50 00:01:48,384 --> 00:01:49,668 Well, maybe not for long. 51 00:01:49,669 --> 00:01:51,451 I'm seriously thinking about pulling him from the team. 52 00:01:51,452 --> 00:01:52,344 What? Why? 53 00:01:52,345 --> 00:01:54,018 'Cause Trevor's getting killed out there. 54 00:01:54,179 --> 00:01:55,465 You got no one to block for him. 55 00:01:55,466 --> 00:01:58,105 I... I hear what you're saying, and you're not wrong, 56 00:01:58,106 --> 00:01:59,830 but give me a little time. 57 00:01:59,831 --> 00:02:01,095 You got one week. 58 00:02:03,157 --> 00:02:05,775 Well, that is not appropriate fair behavior at all. 59 00:02:06,153 --> 00:02:07,476 You know what might make you feel better? 60 00:02:07,477 --> 00:02:09,558 Gathering my team and putting the fear of God in them. 61 00:02:09,559 --> 00:02:10,660 I was gonna say a churro. 62 00:02:10,661 --> 00:02:11,740 I can do both! 63 00:02:12,843 --> 00:02:14,114 She's a mess. 64 00:02:14,115 --> 00:02:15,191 Girl... 65 00:02:16,515 --> 00:02:18,891 Hey, hey, lead foot, easy on the turns! 66 00:02:18,892 --> 00:02:20,431 I worked hours on this cake. 67 00:02:20,445 --> 00:02:21,769 You're sure you want to do this? 68 00:02:22,147 --> 00:02:23,705 I'm going to win the cake contest, 69 00:02:23,706 --> 00:02:25,025 and then there'll be no stopping me. 70 00:02:25,026 --> 00:02:26,080 From what? A beating? 71 00:02:26,081 --> 00:02:28,070 First-place ribbons earn respect, Jay. 72 00:02:28,071 --> 00:02:29,131 Not if your competition's 73 00:02:29,132 --> 00:02:30,706 a bunch of old ladies and weirdos. 74 00:02:30,707 --> 00:02:32,049 Could you just be nice? 75 00:02:32,050 --> 00:02:33,408 You didn't seem to care 76 00:02:33,409 --> 00:02:35,553 when you were eating all his practice cake. 77 00:02:35,554 --> 00:02:36,559 Finally. 78 00:02:38,426 --> 00:02:39,775 What are you gonna do, pal?! 79 00:02:39,852 --> 00:02:41,458 About to ask you the same thing. 80 00:02:41,459 --> 00:02:43,140 Did you not see my blinker? 81 00:02:43,141 --> 00:02:45,226 - Nope. - Then you're blind, 'cause it's on. 82 00:02:45,227 --> 00:02:47,697 Looking at you, I'm guessing it was on the whole way here. 83 00:02:47,698 --> 00:02:50,782 I got all day and satellite radio. 84 00:02:50,783 --> 00:02:53,303 I don't care if parking here is on your bucket list. 85 00:02:53,304 --> 00:02:55,798 I've got two books on tape, a space blanket, 86 00:02:55,799 --> 00:02:57,578 and a protein bar in the glove box. 87 00:02:57,579 --> 00:02:59,481 I will sleep here if I have to. 88 00:02:59,482 --> 00:02:59,993 We're not moving. 89 00:02:59,994 --> 00:03:01,017 Ay, but we are. 90 00:03:01,018 --> 00:03:02,237 Let's go, Manny. 91 00:03:14,669 --> 00:03:16,192 - Who are you? - Oh, my God! 92 00:03:16,193 --> 00:03:17,928 You scared the hell out of me! 93 00:03:18,145 --> 00:03:20,233 Okay, language. There's a baby in the house. 94 00:03:20,234 --> 00:03:22,111 Uh, that baby happens to be my uncle. 95 00:03:22,112 --> 00:03:24,038 Which one are you? 96 00:03:24,039 --> 00:03:26,312 You need to tell Mr. P you broke one of his beers. 97 00:03:26,772 --> 00:03:28,160 I'm Alex. Who are you? 98 00:03:28,161 --> 00:03:28,959 I'm their Manny. 99 00:03:29,650 --> 00:03:30,336 Nice try. 100 00:03:30,337 --> 00:03:32,511 I know their Manny, and you look nothing like him. 101 00:03:32,512 --> 00:03:34,356 Oh, you're Haley. 102 00:03:34,503 --> 00:03:36,352 I'm their male nanny, Andy. 103 00:03:36,353 --> 00:03:37,700 You really need to move. 104 00:03:37,701 --> 00:03:40,099 Okay, well, I'll be out by the pool. 105 00:03:40,100 --> 00:03:41,515 What? Nope! 106 00:03:41,516 --> 00:03:42,240 No, no, no. 107 00:03:42,241 --> 00:03:43,782 Not without permission, you're not. 108 00:03:43,783 --> 00:03:45,862 - I'm gonna call Mr. and Mrs. P. - Oh, wait! 109 00:03:45,863 --> 00:03:49,343 Um... seriously, Mandy, do you, uh... 110 00:03:49,371 --> 00:03:51,014 do you really have to do that? 111 00:03:51,816 --> 00:03:52,852 I see what you're doing. 112 00:03:52,853 --> 00:03:53,641 Don't bother, 113 00:03:53,642 --> 00:03:54,226 because I have a girlfriend 114 00:03:54,227 --> 00:03:55,688 of eight years back in Utah. 115 00:03:55,689 --> 00:03:56,986 That's pretty young, but I guess they do things 116 00:03:56,987 --> 00:03:57,935 differently over there. 117 00:03:57,936 --> 00:03:58,950 She's my age, 118 00:03:58,951 --> 00:04:00,830 and we're engaged... to be engaged. 119 00:04:00,831 --> 00:04:02,620 It's... it's a pre-engagement. 120 00:04:02,621 --> 00:04:03,610 She's in the Coast Guard. 121 00:04:03,611 --> 00:04:05,108 - In Utah? - Yeah. 122 00:04:05,189 --> 00:04:06,919 It's the largest salt lake in the western hemisphere. 123 00:04:06,920 --> 00:04:08,848 Oh, good. She's protecting our lake. 124 00:04:08,849 --> 00:04:10,295 I'll be out by the pool. 125 00:04:11,001 --> 00:04:12,414 Your boss is calling you. 126 00:04:15,528 --> 00:04:17,457 Hey! There she is. 127 00:04:17,458 --> 00:04:18,481 Yeah, I'm not giving you any money. 128 00:04:18,482 --> 00:04:20,379 I don't need your money I need advice... 129 00:04:21,001 --> 00:04:21,982 about a girl. 130 00:04:22,249 --> 00:04:24,557 Gross, but I'm intrigued, so talk. 131 00:04:24,558 --> 00:04:26,448 Alex. Hey, Girlita. 132 00:04:26,449 --> 00:04:29,122 Sienna... girl! 133 00:04:29,228 --> 00:04:33,143 Sienna is amazing... stylish, worldly... 134 00:04:33,144 --> 00:04:35,312 and she's so new to our school, she doesn't even realize 135 00:04:35,313 --> 00:04:37,193 that I'm a full social class below her. 136 00:04:37,253 --> 00:04:38,968 I need to cement the friendship 137 00:04:38,969 --> 00:04:40,898 before she finds out we have a cafeteria. 138 00:04:41,186 --> 00:04:42,957 I've been looking all over for you. 139 00:04:42,958 --> 00:04:45,179 Uh, this is my little brother, Luke. 140 00:04:46,212 --> 00:04:48,789 He wants advice on some lame crush he has. 141 00:04:48,790 --> 00:04:49,576 That's huge. 142 00:04:49,577 --> 00:04:50,725 So huge. 143 00:04:50,918 --> 00:04:53,817 So, Luke, who is this mystery woman? 144 00:04:53,962 --> 00:04:56,187 Um... just some girl. 145 00:04:56,428 --> 00:04:58,422 And her name is Sienna. 146 00:05:01,922 --> 00:05:04,065 You know, Manny, I'm just gonna say this one last time. 147 00:05:04,066 --> 00:05:05,555 - I doubt that. - Give me that. 148 00:05:06,357 --> 00:05:07,493 You want to fit in? 149 00:05:07,884 --> 00:05:09,307 You're not doing yourself any favors 150 00:05:09,308 --> 00:05:10,555 with this cake contest. 151 00:05:10,556 --> 00:05:11,807 I don't know. Chefs get all the girls. 152 00:05:11,808 --> 00:05:12,791 You're a baker. 153 00:05:12,792 --> 00:05:13,910 Bakers are girls... 154 00:05:13,911 --> 00:05:16,523 Betty Crocker, Mrs. Fields, Little Debbie. 155 00:05:16,524 --> 00:05:18,049 What about the Pillsbury Doughboy? 156 00:05:18,050 --> 00:05:19,607 That's a good one, Manny! 157 00:05:20,881 --> 00:05:22,845 Well, well, well. Jay Pritchett. 158 00:05:22,846 --> 00:05:24,429 Nice of you to finally show up. 159 00:05:24,430 --> 00:05:26,291 - What's happening? - You're an official fair cop. 160 00:05:26,292 --> 00:05:27,940 - Your wife volunteered you. - Gloria! 161 00:05:27,941 --> 00:05:29,443 I love you! Have fun! 162 00:05:29,444 --> 00:05:30,919 - What is this? - It's for charity. 163 00:05:30,920 --> 00:05:32,355 People pay for you to arrest 164 00:05:32,356 --> 00:05:34,002 and throw somebody in jail for 10 minutes. 165 00:05:34,003 --> 00:05:35,369 And here comes your partner. 166 00:05:35,370 --> 00:05:36,166 What's up? 167 00:05:36,167 --> 00:05:38,406 Oh, hell, no. I'm not working with this clown. 168 00:05:38,407 --> 00:05:40,692 Hey, who are you calling a clown, bucket list? 169 00:05:40,693 --> 00:05:42,264 I see you two have already met. 170 00:05:42,265 --> 00:05:44,366 That was my space and you know it. 171 00:05:44,367 --> 00:05:46,636 Tell it to my car. You know where to find it. 172 00:05:46,637 --> 00:05:48,667 Hey, enough of you two squabbling. 173 00:05:48,668 --> 00:05:50,891 I've got the PTA breathing down my neck. 174 00:05:50,892 --> 00:05:52,637 Just pin these on and get to work. 175 00:05:52,638 --> 00:05:54,869 Nope. Can't do the badge. Sorry. 176 00:05:54,870 --> 00:05:56,180 My wife just bought me this shirt, 177 00:05:56,181 --> 00:05:57,692 and if I ruin it, she'll kill me. 178 00:05:57,693 --> 00:05:58,939 You're afraid you'll ruin your blouse. 179 00:05:58,940 --> 00:06:00,497 It's not a blouse! It's a shirt. 180 00:06:00,498 --> 00:06:02,441 She bought it at the men's department, so it's a shirt. 181 00:06:03,308 --> 00:06:04,389 Here's your first arrest. 182 00:06:04,390 --> 00:06:05,988 She's over at the Dizzy Dragon. 183 00:06:06,008 --> 00:06:08,534 Word on the midway is she's tougher than she looks. 184 00:06:08,570 --> 00:06:10,627 - Think you can handle it? - Why couldn't I handle it? 185 00:06:10,791 --> 00:06:12,282 'Cause she's your daughter. 186 00:06:15,749 --> 00:06:16,626 Hello? 187 00:06:16,849 --> 00:06:18,813 Oh, hi, Mr. Chang. Yeah. 188 00:06:19,265 --> 00:06:20,537 What do you mean you're at the house already? 189 00:06:20,538 --> 00:06:22,389 You're not supposed to be there for another two hours. 190 00:06:22,390 --> 00:06:23,877 I have a long history of giving Phil 191 00:06:23,878 --> 00:06:25,462 bad anniversary gifts, 192 00:06:25,463 --> 00:06:28,109 but this year, I have planned something amazing. 193 00:06:28,110 --> 00:06:30,085 The traditional 20th gift is china, 194 00:06:30,086 --> 00:06:32,293 but what am I gonna do, give him a plate? 195 00:06:32,858 --> 00:06:34,086 I already did that. 196 00:06:35,183 --> 00:06:36,647 Okay, bye. 197 00:06:38,017 --> 00:06:40,209 Honey, um, what do you say we pack it in and go home? 198 00:06:40,210 --> 00:06:41,961 What? No. I mean, we just got here. 199 00:06:41,962 --> 00:06:43,223 I haven't even whacked a mole yet. 200 00:06:43,224 --> 00:06:44,433 I know, but I just got off the Ferris wheel, 201 00:06:44,434 --> 00:06:45,921 and I'm feeling really queasy. 202 00:06:45,922 --> 00:06:47,551 But you're gonna miss the Dad Beats. 203 00:06:47,552 --> 00:06:48,673 No way. Come on. 204 00:06:48,674 --> 00:06:50,168 Let's get you a fried pickle! 205 00:06:50,169 --> 00:06:51,611 Phil, I might throw up. 206 00:06:52,686 --> 00:06:55,630 No one throws up until I sing. 207 00:06:55,896 --> 00:06:57,212 Phil, we got to go. We got to go home now. 208 00:06:57,213 --> 00:06:59,317 Sure. Why not? Nothing keeping you here. 209 00:06:59,318 --> 00:07:00,457 Why are you acting weird? 210 00:07:00,458 --> 00:07:01,597 I'm not acting weird. 211 00:07:01,598 --> 00:07:02,564 Got her. 212 00:07:02,565 --> 00:07:05,238 Ma'am, I am afraid you are under arrest. 213 00:07:05,239 --> 00:07:08,116 Uh, no. Dad, tell him I can't do this right now. 214 00:07:08,117 --> 00:07:09,130 Come on. Please. 215 00:07:09,131 --> 00:07:10,144 Go ahead. Read her the charges. 216 00:07:10,205 --> 00:07:11,279 Can't do this. 217 00:07:11,369 --> 00:07:12,164 All right. Let's see. 218 00:07:12,165 --> 00:07:14,199 You have been charged with unlawful sexiness 219 00:07:14,200 --> 00:07:16,198 and possession of a hot booty. 220 00:07:16,199 --> 00:07:17,056 That is wrong. 221 00:07:17,057 --> 00:07:18,544 - Guilty as charged. - Stop it! 222 00:07:18,545 --> 00:07:20,192 All right, 10 minutes in the slammer. 223 00:07:20,193 --> 00:07:20,871 No, I can't. 224 00:07:20,872 --> 00:07:22,809 I don't have time for this. Phil! 225 00:07:26,446 --> 00:07:26,989 Oh, my God! 226 00:07:26,990 --> 00:07:28,463 What are you doing, perv?! 227 00:07:28,464 --> 00:07:30,510 Getting proof of where the two missing beers went. 228 00:07:30,511 --> 00:07:31,602 You can't drink that out here. 229 00:07:31,603 --> 00:07:33,394 Hmm. Let's see if you're right. 230 00:07:34,817 --> 00:07:36,495 Mm, no. 231 00:07:36,496 --> 00:07:38,528 Okay, well, you're in a pool zone, 232 00:07:38,708 --> 00:07:41,099 and that is glass, so that's not safe. 233 00:07:41,100 --> 00:07:41,893 It's dangerous. 234 00:07:41,894 --> 00:07:44,012 What is with you and your girlfriend protecting water? 235 00:07:44,025 --> 00:07:45,522 Okay, just... 236 00:07:45,523 --> 00:07:47,795 - If you just... - No... no, uh, uh! 237 00:07:47,919 --> 00:07:49,429 Oh! D... ahh! D-d... oh, dilly! 238 00:07:49,432 --> 00:07:50,385 Well, now you've done it. 239 00:07:50,386 --> 00:07:51,566 You're gonna have to climb in there 240 00:07:51,567 --> 00:07:52,861 and get all the glass out of the pool. 241 00:07:52,862 --> 00:07:54,481 Um, I just got my hair straightened, 242 00:07:54,482 --> 00:07:55,959 so that's not gonna happen. 243 00:07:56,519 --> 00:07:57,949 I hate to go all ballistic, 244 00:07:57,950 --> 00:08:00,031 but it has not been a pleasure meeting you. 245 00:08:01,120 --> 00:08:03,318 Do you kiss your imaginary girlfriend with that mouth? 246 00:08:03,319 --> 00:08:06,308 I do, but she's real. So, she's a real girl. 247 00:08:07,092 --> 00:08:10,698 It all comes down to one thing, gentlemen... 248 00:08:11,465 --> 00:08:12,464 focus... 249 00:08:13,282 --> 00:08:15,431 and teamwork and heart! 250 00:08:15,740 --> 00:08:16,948 You see this mallet? 251 00:08:17,206 --> 00:08:20,838 Think I can swing this here mallet with one finger? 252 00:08:21,244 --> 00:08:24,172 No! I need my whole team! 253 00:08:24,568 --> 00:08:27,807 Because when you're functioning and working as a team, 254 00:08:27,808 --> 00:08:29,554 gentlemen, look out! 255 00:08:30,977 --> 00:08:31,918 Sassy granny? 256 00:08:31,919 --> 00:08:33,058 Yeah, sassy granny. 257 00:08:33,059 --> 00:08:34,533 Yes, exactly. 258 00:08:34,546 --> 00:08:37,188 Because that is what you all played like last night... 259 00:08:37,189 --> 00:08:40,110 is a bunch of sassy grannies. 260 00:08:40,328 --> 00:08:41,807 But we're gonna bust our humps this week, 261 00:08:41,808 --> 00:08:42,913 and we're gonna get out there, 262 00:08:42,914 --> 00:08:45,223 and we're gonna play like a bunch of... 263 00:08:45,402 --> 00:08:46,698 Girly men. Got it. 264 00:08:46,699 --> 00:08:48,487 Okay, you know what? Is this thing plugged in? 265 00:08:48,488 --> 00:08:49,835 It's not electric. 266 00:08:49,836 --> 00:08:52,120 I think it was made in the 1800s. 267 00:08:52,183 --> 00:08:54,792 Okay, well, that's my point. 268 00:08:54,994 --> 00:08:56,321 This is outdated. 269 00:08:56,402 --> 00:08:57,150 This is offensive, 270 00:08:57,151 --> 00:08:59,246 because girls are athletes, too. 271 00:08:59,866 --> 00:09:02,432 So, in conclusion... 272 00:09:03,232 --> 00:09:05,185 if you want to win football games, 273 00:09:05,295 --> 00:09:07,796 we got to go out there and play like a... 274 00:09:10,769 --> 00:09:12,081 What is daddy doing? 275 00:09:12,082 --> 00:09:13,766 Daddy's smashing his demons. 276 00:09:13,767 --> 00:09:15,892 Oh, like the ones you vacuum up at home? 277 00:09:15,893 --> 00:09:17,304 Yeah, yeah. Like that. 278 00:09:18,088 --> 00:09:20,834 Mm! Damn. Near miss. 279 00:09:20,835 --> 00:09:23,203 Why the hell are you so dressed up for a school fair, anyway? 280 00:09:23,204 --> 00:09:24,569 How is this dressed up?! 281 00:09:24,570 --> 00:09:26,099 I'm Why? 282 00:09:26,270 --> 00:09:27,851 Because my shirt has buttons? 283 00:09:27,853 --> 00:09:29,423 What's that fabric? Is that silk? 284 00:09:29,424 --> 00:09:32,336 Get your vanilla fingers away from my shirt! 285 00:09:32,337 --> 00:09:33,594 - Blouse. - Okay... 286 00:09:34,431 --> 00:09:36,377 You want to talk about clothes? Let's talk about clothes. 287 00:09:36,378 --> 00:09:37,349 Let's go. Let's see. 288 00:09:37,350 --> 00:09:39,895 You look like some kind of old, washed-up golf pro 289 00:09:39,919 --> 00:09:41,451 who drank his way off the tour 290 00:09:41,452 --> 00:09:43,890 and is one step away from writing a suicide note 291 00:09:43,891 --> 00:09:45,479 with one of them little pencils. 292 00:09:50,348 --> 00:09:52,273 Sorry. I didn't mean that. 293 00:09:52,274 --> 00:09:54,058 You wouldn't have said it if you didn't mean it. 294 00:09:55,657 --> 00:09:58,090 I don't have the body to wear the clothes they make today, 295 00:09:58,091 --> 00:09:59,608 so I dress comfortable. 296 00:10:00,017 --> 00:10:00,890 You're in shape, man. 297 00:10:00,891 --> 00:10:02,286 What are you? Late 50s? 298 00:10:02,287 --> 00:10:04,530 Come on. You know I'm not. 299 00:10:04,531 --> 00:10:05,490 I'm serious, man. 300 00:10:05,491 --> 00:10:07,807 Y... you look like you live at the gym. 301 00:10:07,808 --> 00:10:09,282 - I do some walking. - Yeah? 302 00:10:09,283 --> 00:10:10,340 Pritchett, Williams, 303 00:10:10,341 --> 00:10:12,728 got another arrest over by the Ferris wheel. 304 00:10:12,729 --> 00:10:13,584 On it. 305 00:10:14,184 --> 00:10:15,120 Here we go. 306 00:10:20,807 --> 00:10:21,883 Why'd we throw out the ice cream? 307 00:10:21,884 --> 00:10:22,996 We got plenty of time. 308 00:10:28,223 --> 00:10:29,336 Seeing Manny up there 309 00:10:29,337 --> 00:10:31,840 with the misfits and their crazy cakes, 310 00:10:31,841 --> 00:10:34,224 I started to wonder if Jay was right. 311 00:10:34,769 --> 00:10:36,102 Maybe Manny would fit in better 312 00:10:36,103 --> 00:10:38,098 if he was more like the other boys. 313 00:10:38,099 --> 00:10:40,367 And maybe I needed to give him a little push. 314 00:10:46,232 --> 00:10:47,712 I saw you. 315 00:10:53,081 --> 00:10:54,361 All right, young lady. 316 00:10:54,770 --> 00:10:55,641 You're under arrest. 317 00:10:55,642 --> 00:10:57,838 - What? - You have the right to remain silent. 318 00:10:57,839 --> 00:10:58,626 Good luck with that. 319 00:10:58,627 --> 00:10:59,642 Grandpa! 320 00:10:59,643 --> 00:11:01,372 Sorry, honey. Part of the job. 321 00:11:02,223 --> 00:11:03,067 Out of the way! 322 00:11:03,068 --> 00:11:03,766 Let's go. 323 00:11:03,767 --> 00:11:05,443 Who did this?! 324 00:11:05,847 --> 00:11:07,713 Hmm. I guess it's just you and me. 325 00:11:09,769 --> 00:11:12,052 My cake! Somebody ruined it! 326 00:11:12,248 --> 00:11:13,259 Who would do that?! 327 00:11:13,260 --> 00:11:16,184 Ay! Manny, how terrible. All your hard work. 328 00:11:16,185 --> 00:11:17,365 Oh, well. Let's go ride the rides. 329 00:11:17,366 --> 00:11:19,577 No, no, no. Mom, I know who did it. 330 00:11:19,578 --> 00:11:20,483 Oh, you do? 331 00:11:20,602 --> 00:11:21,613 It was Enid. 332 00:11:21,744 --> 00:11:23,204 Ah. Look at her. 333 00:11:23,240 --> 00:11:24,783 You can see the hate in her eyes. 334 00:11:24,784 --> 00:11:26,992 The minute she saw this, she felt threatened. 335 00:11:27,798 --> 00:11:29,252 She's cold as ice. 336 00:11:30,043 --> 00:11:31,805 How about you just let it go 337 00:11:31,806 --> 00:11:33,711 and go play with the other boys? 338 00:11:33,712 --> 00:11:35,262 Oh, she'd love that. 339 00:11:36,376 --> 00:11:37,460 Okay, Enid. 340 00:11:37,530 --> 00:11:40,255 You want to dance? Let's dance. 341 00:11:45,559 --> 00:11:47,147 Let me have my cellphone. Come on. I got to make a call. 342 00:11:47,148 --> 00:11:48,929 Sorry. Those are the rules. 343 00:11:49,800 --> 00:11:50,857 What are you smiling at? 344 00:11:50,858 --> 00:11:52,056 I'm six. 345 00:11:52,057 --> 00:11:52,734 Oh, God. 346 00:11:52,735 --> 00:11:54,631 All right. Got another one for you here. 347 00:11:54,632 --> 00:11:55,866 Hi, honey. 348 00:11:55,867 --> 00:11:56,909 Come on. 349 00:11:57,028 --> 00:11:59,647 One count of being an aggravating big sister. 350 00:11:59,648 --> 00:12:00,693 That's 8 to 10 minutes. 351 00:12:00,694 --> 00:12:02,767 Luke did this?! I was just trying to help him. 352 00:12:02,768 --> 00:12:03,872 Help him do what? 353 00:12:03,873 --> 00:12:05,404 My friend Sienna and I were trying to help him 354 00:12:05,405 --> 00:12:06,914 find this girl he has a crush on. 355 00:12:06,915 --> 00:12:09,589 Honey, Sienna is the girl he has a crush on. 356 00:12:09,697 --> 00:12:11,439 Come on, haven't you ever seen the way he looks at her? 357 00:12:11,440 --> 00:12:13,716 It's same way he used to look at Halloween candy. 358 00:12:13,717 --> 00:12:15,364 Oh, my God. He's gonna do something stupid 359 00:12:15,365 --> 00:12:16,182 and ruin it for me. 360 00:12:16,183 --> 00:12:17,242 I have to get out of here. 361 00:12:17,243 --> 00:12:19,377 Okay. All right. I got a plan. I got this. 362 00:12:19,565 --> 00:12:20,630 I'm gonna create a distraction. 363 00:12:20,631 --> 00:12:22,446 Just got to get that little guard over here. 364 00:12:22,447 --> 00:12:24,229 You're gonna sit down very quietly, 365 00:12:24,230 --> 00:12:25,065 right by the door. 366 00:12:25,066 --> 00:12:27,515 Great plan, mom. Let me know how that works out for you. 367 00:12:30,736 --> 00:12:31,877 It's a fake lock. 368 00:12:32,163 --> 00:12:33,693 How long were you gonna sit on that? 369 00:12:36,948 --> 00:12:37,830 Found another one. 370 00:12:37,883 --> 00:12:38,674 I told you. 371 00:12:38,675 --> 00:12:40,051 Are you gonna do that every time? 372 00:12:40,052 --> 00:12:40,848 You found glass, 373 00:12:40,849 --> 00:12:42,142 not the lost city of Atlanta. 374 00:12:42,143 --> 00:12:43,432 Wow, I'm gonna chalk that one up 375 00:12:43,433 --> 00:12:44,693 to a lot of underage drinking. 376 00:12:44,694 --> 00:12:46,148 - You're bleeding. - What? 377 00:12:47,615 --> 00:12:49,787 I do not like blood. I do not like blood. 378 00:12:49,788 --> 00:12:51,023 - Is it bad? - Here. 379 00:12:51,480 --> 00:12:52,989 - Oh, my God! - What? 380 00:12:52,990 --> 00:12:55,497 Your fingers are so stubby, like baby carrots. 381 00:12:55,498 --> 00:12:56,641 Sure. Okay. 382 00:12:56,642 --> 00:12:57,601 Make fun... 383 00:12:57,769 --> 00:12:59,354 till you need me to reach into a vending machine, 384 00:12:59,355 --> 00:13:00,384 then I'm everyone's best friend. 385 00:13:00,385 --> 00:13:01,242 Here. Hold still. 386 00:13:01,243 --> 00:13:02,581 Let me put some pressure on it. 387 00:13:03,845 --> 00:13:05,556 So, why are you a manny, anyway? 388 00:13:05,614 --> 00:13:06,943 Saving up for college. 389 00:13:07,192 --> 00:13:08,270 Plus, I like kids. 390 00:13:09,277 --> 00:13:10,842 'Cause they make your hands seem normal? 391 00:13:11,311 --> 00:13:12,996 Okay. Thank you. 392 00:13:13,092 --> 00:13:14,347 I'm good. Thank you. 393 00:13:16,051 --> 00:13:17,766 Luke, I hate to say it, 394 00:13:17,767 --> 00:13:19,248 but maybe this girl left. 395 00:13:19,249 --> 00:13:20,755 It's probably for the best. 396 00:13:20,756 --> 00:13:22,469 I mean, even if I found her... 397 00:13:22,653 --> 00:13:24,581 ah, forget it. It's embarrassing. 398 00:13:24,582 --> 00:13:26,373 No. Tell me. 399 00:13:27,074 --> 00:13:28,332 I wouldn't know what to do. 400 00:13:28,907 --> 00:13:30,095 I've never kissed a girl before. 401 00:13:30,096 --> 00:13:32,486 Oh! It's not that hard. 402 00:13:32,665 --> 00:13:33,409 You know what? 403 00:13:33,410 --> 00:13:35,037 I'll kiss you once to show you how it's done. 404 00:13:35,038 --> 00:13:36,971 Really? Okay. Want to go behind the dumpster? 405 00:13:36,972 --> 00:13:38,679 No. Here is fine. 406 00:13:38,680 --> 00:13:42,415 Okay. It's not really how I imagined it, but... 407 00:13:43,305 --> 00:13:44,174 Stop! 408 00:13:44,382 --> 00:13:45,987 - What? - Ignore her. Where were we? 409 00:13:45,988 --> 00:13:47,577 You're the girl! You're his crush! 410 00:13:47,578 --> 00:13:49,766 He's being a little weirdo! Please don't judge me! 411 00:13:49,946 --> 00:13:51,613 Uh, Luke, is this true? 412 00:13:51,730 --> 00:13:53,545 She's a nerd! Her friends are books! 413 00:13:53,546 --> 00:13:55,221 You're the best thing that's ever happened to her! 414 00:13:55,222 --> 00:13:57,703 - Alex? - Um, I don't know what he's talking about! 415 00:13:57,704 --> 00:14:00,205 Okay, I'm just gonna go catch up with some friends. 416 00:14:01,047 --> 00:14:02,235 Sienna, wait! 417 00:14:04,316 --> 00:14:06,351 Don't be sad. You're too good for her anyways. 418 00:14:06,352 --> 00:14:08,429 Yeah. Thanks, Alex. 419 00:14:08,430 --> 00:14:09,225 Not you. 420 00:14:09,226 --> 00:14:11,280 I was talking about myself, you little gnome. 421 00:14:12,810 --> 00:14:14,216 There he is. 422 00:14:14,693 --> 00:14:16,855 One more arrest and we can hang up our badges. 423 00:14:16,856 --> 00:14:18,470 I've seen this punk horsing around earlier. 424 00:14:18,471 --> 00:14:19,865 I'm gonna enjoy this. 425 00:14:21,121 --> 00:14:23,716 Jail time, jean jacket. 426 00:14:30,047 --> 00:14:32,071 - Is it bad? - You're gonna be fine. 427 00:14:32,240 --> 00:14:34,691 Aah! I should have worn a vest. 428 00:14:35,370 --> 00:14:37,710 Why is everyone just standing around?! 429 00:14:37,726 --> 00:14:39,838 Get this man a towel for his blouse! 430 00:14:42,155 --> 00:14:43,219 So cold. 431 00:14:45,362 --> 00:14:46,709 We were almost out. 432 00:14:47,836 --> 00:14:50,130 - I didn't want it to end like this. - Don't you do that! 433 00:14:50,263 --> 00:14:51,186 It's not over! 434 00:14:51,187 --> 00:14:52,029 Listen to me. 435 00:14:53,569 --> 00:14:55,354 I need you to tell my wife what happened. 436 00:14:56,259 --> 00:14:57,476 Tell her it wasn't my fault. 437 00:14:57,477 --> 00:14:59,205 You're gonna tell her yourself. 438 00:14:59,458 --> 00:15:01,352 She's standing right there, and she looks pissed. 439 00:15:02,916 --> 00:15:04,232 Hi, baby. 440 00:15:06,881 --> 00:15:07,658 Phil... 441 00:15:08,090 --> 00:15:10,028 Phil, when I said we needed to go home, I meant it. 442 00:15:10,029 --> 00:15:12,214 I'm sorry. I should have listened to you. 443 00:15:12,215 --> 00:15:15,314 But you have to stay for just one song. 444 00:15:15,315 --> 00:15:16,226 Why? 445 00:15:16,309 --> 00:15:17,151 Trust me. 446 00:15:18,045 --> 00:15:19,868 Whoo! How's everybody doing?! 447 00:15:19,869 --> 00:15:21,206 Good! 448 00:15:21,224 --> 00:15:22,443 All right, next up, we have 449 00:15:22,444 --> 00:15:24,394 a very special guest joining us. 450 00:15:24,418 --> 00:15:26,720 Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for... 451 00:15:27,291 --> 00:15:28,968 - Harold Grossman! - Wait. 452 00:15:29,708 --> 00:15:30,502 What? 453 00:15:31,391 --> 00:15:33,860 Uh, never really done anything like this before. 454 00:15:34,688 --> 00:15:37,409 Uh, some of the gang down at the pharmacy 455 00:15:37,701 --> 00:15:39,604 talked me into it, so... 456 00:15:43,523 --> 00:15:46,080 ♪ Gotta take a little time ♪ 457 00:15:47,598 --> 00:15:51,273 ♪ A little time to think things over ♪ 458 00:15:53,034 --> 00:15:55,904 ♪ I'd better read between the lines ♪ 459 00:15:57,229 --> 00:16:01,374 ♪ In case I need it when I'm older ♪ 460 00:16:02,471 --> 00:16:04,691 ♪ In my life ♪ 461 00:16:04,692 --> 00:16:07,188 Turns out Harold Grossman, our pharmacist, 462 00:16:07,189 --> 00:16:08,070 is a rock star. 463 00:16:08,071 --> 00:16:10,093 His voice is the drug he should be dispensing, 464 00:16:10,094 --> 00:16:12,125 because apparently, it's the cure for everything. 465 00:16:12,249 --> 00:16:14,798 - Time to go. Let's go. - No, no, no, no, no! 466 00:16:14,799 --> 00:16:17,515 Stay, stay, stay, stay! Come on, he's great! Whoo! 467 00:16:19,715 --> 00:16:23,338 ♪ I want you to show me ♪ 468 00:16:24,888 --> 00:16:28,977 ♪ I want to feel what love is ♪ 469 00:16:29,107 --> 00:16:30,787 ♪ And I know, and I know ♪ 470 00:16:30,788 --> 00:16:35,349 ♪ I know you can show me ♪ 471 00:16:37,363 --> 00:16:39,377 Oh, he's incredible! 472 00:16:39,378 --> 00:16:42,733 - I know. - Incredible! 473 00:16:43,584 --> 00:16:45,541 Harold Grossman, everybody! 474 00:16:46,377 --> 00:16:47,670 Holy cow! 475 00:16:48,129 --> 00:16:49,161 Who knew?! 476 00:16:50,606 --> 00:16:52,052 Let's keep this party going. 477 00:16:52,053 --> 00:16:53,821 Next up, we have one more guest today. 478 00:16:53,822 --> 00:16:54,757 Oh, no. 479 00:16:54,758 --> 00:16:55,932 Harold, yeah. 480 00:16:55,933 --> 00:16:57,690 Harold, Harold! 481 00:16:58,149 --> 00:16:59,428 Okay, now. Okay. 482 00:16:59,450 --> 00:17:01,329 Maybe Harold can come back a little later. 483 00:17:05,051 --> 00:17:06,473 But in the meantime, 484 00:17:06,474 --> 00:17:09,098 the Dad Beats are proud to present... 485 00:17:09,099 --> 00:17:10,410 Phil Dunphy! 486 00:17:10,411 --> 00:17:11,371 Paul who? 487 00:17:11,597 --> 00:17:12,697 Phil? 488 00:17:13,961 --> 00:17:14,748 Phil Dunphy. 489 00:17:14,749 --> 00:17:16,702 - Oh, Phil Dunphy. - Oh, boy. 490 00:17:26,316 --> 00:17:27,852 There's a white minivan out in the parking lot 491 00:17:27,853 --> 00:17:33,450 with its lights on... license plate number TCB-R2D2. 492 00:17:36,542 --> 00:17:37,991 Phil Dunphy, everybody. 493 00:17:40,467 --> 00:17:41,718 Hey, mom. Check it out. 494 00:17:41,719 --> 00:17:43,596 - I finished my cake. - Oh, good. 495 00:17:43,713 --> 00:17:46,547 It's Los Angeles after an 11.5 earthquake. 496 00:17:46,548 --> 00:17:48,939 I call it earth-cake. 497 00:17:49,986 --> 00:17:51,613 Manny, that's amazing! 498 00:17:51,614 --> 00:17:52,674 You think that's amazing? 499 00:17:52,675 --> 00:17:53,809 Wait till I smash this thing 500 00:17:53,810 --> 00:17:55,028 right on top of Enid's piece of sheet cake. 501 00:17:55,029 --> 00:17:58,160 No, no, no! Wait! Manny, Enid didn't do it. 502 00:17:58,161 --> 00:17:59,726 - I did it. - What? 503 00:18:00,123 --> 00:18:01,891 I was the one who ruined the cake. 504 00:18:01,892 --> 00:18:05,255 I was afraid that all those boys were gonna make fun of you. 505 00:18:05,608 --> 00:18:08,984 I think I care more about you fitting in than you do. 506 00:18:09,018 --> 00:18:10,746 No. I care. 507 00:18:10,969 --> 00:18:12,072 I care a lot. 508 00:18:12,361 --> 00:18:14,104 It's just the stuff I'm good at 509 00:18:14,105 --> 00:18:15,944 isn't the stuff that makes you popular. 510 00:18:16,153 --> 00:18:17,874 Contestants, all cakes 511 00:18:17,875 --> 00:18:20,744 must be at the judges' table in 60 seconds. 512 00:18:21,090 --> 00:18:23,730 Ay, there's no way we're gonna make it through that crowd. 513 00:18:23,731 --> 00:18:25,655 Like heck we won't. Here. 514 00:18:25,656 --> 00:18:27,499 - What? - Follow my lead. 515 00:18:27,500 --> 00:18:28,893 - Okay. - Ready? Come on. 516 00:18:29,298 --> 00:18:32,284 Oh, well, look who finally put down his mallet. 517 00:18:32,285 --> 00:18:33,883 You done having your little temper tantrum? 518 00:18:33,884 --> 00:18:35,001 It wasn't that bad. 519 00:18:35,002 --> 00:18:37,199 Cam, your behavior was completely juvenile, 520 00:18:37,200 --> 00:18:38,650 and I don't think that it set a very good example... 521 00:18:38,651 --> 00:18:40,603 Hey, hey! No cutsies... 522 00:18:40,970 --> 00:18:41,872 for Lily. 523 00:18:42,025 --> 00:18:43,719 I'm sorry. I'm just frustrated. 524 00:18:43,720 --> 00:18:47,536 I... I can't seem to turn this team into a winner. 525 00:18:47,821 --> 00:18:49,649 Oh, why do you let it get you so stressed out? 526 00:18:49,650 --> 00:18:51,053 It's just football. 527 00:18:51,054 --> 00:18:52,713 You know what football was to me? 528 00:18:52,935 --> 00:18:54,608 Football was my salvation. 529 00:18:54,609 --> 00:18:56,086 Every time I stepped onto that field, 530 00:18:56,087 --> 00:18:59,482 I wasn't the weird gay outsider kid anymore. 531 00:19:00,081 --> 00:19:01,678 I inspired my entire team 532 00:19:01,679 --> 00:19:03,548 because I had something to prove. 533 00:19:03,549 --> 00:19:05,941 Where's my kid that has something to prove? 534 00:19:05,942 --> 00:19:06,788 Come on mom! 535 00:19:06,789 --> 00:19:08,302 Stay on my hip! Follow my lead! 536 00:19:08,303 --> 00:19:09,010 Move! 537 00:19:09,494 --> 00:19:11,335 That's exactly what I need. 538 00:19:11,730 --> 00:19:14,459 Oh! Come on! Come on, mom. 539 00:19:14,914 --> 00:19:15,815 Cake? 540 00:19:16,620 --> 00:19:17,737 Tell them the good news. 541 00:19:17,738 --> 00:19:19,667 - I won the cake contest! - The other good news. 542 00:19:19,668 --> 00:19:20,676 He made the football team. 543 00:19:20,677 --> 00:19:22,062 They won their first game. 544 00:19:22,063 --> 00:19:24,187 And the guys love my banana bread. 545 00:19:25,817 --> 00:19:28,378 Keep your eyes closed, and before you open them, 546 00:19:28,419 --> 00:19:30,488 remember that for 20 years, 547 00:19:30,489 --> 00:19:34,245 you have given me perfect, creative, thoughtful gifts. 548 00:19:34,246 --> 00:19:36,238 And every year, I have let you down. 549 00:19:36,720 --> 00:19:38,953 You're about to feel really bad, and I know that, 550 00:19:38,954 --> 00:19:41,846 because it's how I have felt every year. 551 00:19:42,054 --> 00:19:43,599 But, honey, it is not my intention, 552 00:19:43,600 --> 00:19:45,739 because I love you. 553 00:19:46,705 --> 00:19:48,602 Happy anniversary. 554 00:19:48,603 --> 00:19:53,229 Oh, my God. Chinese acrobats?! 555 00:19:53,276 --> 00:19:55,133 20 years China. 556 00:19:55,134 --> 00:19:57,132 You're brilliant. 557 00:19:58,810 --> 00:20:01,312 - You got it! - Hey, guys! You're my present! 558 00:20:01,316 --> 00:20:03,088 Oh... oh, what's that? 559 00:20:05,117 --> 00:20:06,041 That's the helicopter. I should get in there. 560 00:20:06,042 --> 00:20:07,919 No, no, they're... they're here for you. 561 00:20:08,259 --> 00:20:09,344 They're here for you. 562 00:20:10,743 --> 00:20:12,317 Oh... honey. 563 00:20:20,370 --> 00:20:22,300 Don't worry, it was just a couple of beers, 564 00:20:22,301 --> 00:20:23,601 and if you cleaned it up... 565 00:20:23,954 --> 00:20:25,336 Okay, Haley, I love you, too. Bye. 566 00:20:25,337 --> 00:20:26,439 Excuse me, ma'am. 567 00:20:27,080 --> 00:20:28,814 I hear you're a wanted woman. 568 00:20:29,352 --> 00:20:31,883 What you see can and will be held against you. 569 00:20:31,884 --> 00:20:33,789 You're gonna have to arrest me first. 570 00:20:33,986 --> 00:20:35,378 Bring me some wine. 571 00:20:38,440 --> 00:20:40,525 Mr. P., I have a confession to make. 572 00:20:40,526 --> 00:20:43,230 I'm taking a much more interesting confession upstairs. 573 00:20:43,464 --> 00:20:44,449 After Joe went down, 574 00:20:44,450 --> 00:20:46,230 I had a sip of beer by the pool, 575 00:20:46,867 --> 00:20:47,851 and a bottle broke. 576 00:20:47,852 --> 00:20:49,651 - It was me. I did it. - Don't sweat it. 577 00:20:49,652 --> 00:20:51,919 I popped a cold one after dealing with those kids... 578 00:20:51,920 --> 00:20:53,259 Sometimes during. 579 00:20:53,260 --> 00:20:54,879 Thanks, Mr. P. And, hey... 580 00:20:56,037 --> 00:20:57,295 Be careful up there. 581 00:20:57,296 --> 00:20:58,534 We are not that close. 582 00:20:59,935 --> 00:21:06,050 - synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com - 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00